if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my shit smells like andre
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
