I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize