we have officially lost it.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
