It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
