if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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