i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize