I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
