Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
