Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
