I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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