People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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