So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
