it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
