I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
