i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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