i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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