Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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