Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize