he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
