Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
