Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you had me at cake vodka
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
