I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
