I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
