I'm really into asian looking animals
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
