god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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