He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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