She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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