normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
