Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
