You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
