I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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