Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
