Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
