Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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