This girl is more easily done than said...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
