My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
