is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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