i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
