Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
