Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
