I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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