it hurts more in the daytime
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize