Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
