if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
