Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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