According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
