what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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