White coat. Heels.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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