i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
