We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
