am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
