If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
