we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
