remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize