white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
