I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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