dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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