my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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