My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
