dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
