guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
