I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
