Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
