Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
