I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
