if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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