I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Don't make out with my wife yet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
