No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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