if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
