idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
