K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
