You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize