And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
