the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
