Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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