he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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