i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
