come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
