I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize