So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
