Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Randomize
