some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
