just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
try to milk me bitch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
